流泪以后

在某书中看见的文字
流泪以后 一切不再有痕迹...

最近的自己 变脆弱了
小小的事情
足以让我感动至流泪
足以让我痛哭失声
我也不知道自己怎么了
只觉得这样的我很陌生
或许说 我不喜欢这个我

朋友说 哭，是发泄情绪的一种
也有人说 哭，是脆弱的表现
什么时候 最基本的哭 也变成了哲学？
曾经 我告诉自己 我不哭
今天 我无法控制 我的泪

泪流 真得会不着痕迹吗？
泪干之后 真得就能忘记过去 从新开始吗？
泪干之后 真得就学会微笑了吗？
泪干之后 真的就便坚强了吗？
还是
泪干之后 只是笑话一场？
泪干之后 只是丑态百出？


~如~

忧

今天 是近日来心情起伏最大的一天
昨天 结束了两个月的工作
今天 正式进入短暂休息中
中午的时候兴致勃勃地烤饼干
但不知怎么的
饼干要不over baked 就是不够熟
闷
收拾心情之后
就到one utama看电影
high school musical
很期待的一部电影
却在吃晚餐的时候
被一通电话
毁了我的好心情 转变成忧虑
我的小狗狗被狼狗咬了
XXX 我真想骂脏话
庆幸的是
小狗狗虽然伤势严重 但仍然在家休养
看着它的伤口
看着它那哀怨的眼神
我还真想哭~
该庆幸的 还有我小狗狗命大
医生说的
若再咬深一点 它小命难保
好恐怖~
乌龟王八蛋臭鸡蛋
麻烦你睁大眼睛看好你的狗
不要以为钱就能解决问题！

忧
~如~

第一份正职

结束了人生中第一份正职
今天到公司时的心情
和平日是一样的 有点累 有点懒
奇怪的办公室 总是让人体不起精神~
最后一天上班的我
和平日一样 忙碌
不断的逼自己把手头上的工作完成
不想留下烂摊子给同事收拾
当然 我还是留下了 呵呵

午餐的时候
算是我最可怜的时候吧
大部分相熟的同事都出去了
其余的选择打包
而我 就孤伶伶的一个
要谢谢陪我吃午餐的terrance~
谢谢你的凉茶
还有透过msn的花
我会记得那朵farewell之花~

谢谢leow哦~
一个爱叫我小妹妹的同事
一个不会拿doughnut的男生
还是忘不了 那被他折磨的doughnut
据他所说
若不是因为我今天last day
他也不会选择来上班
谢谢哦~
还有对不起
我真得有点累
才推了你的晚餐之约
farewell dinner，未来再补上 :P

还有jaik huai
第一个让我体会到 厕所是适合聊八卦的女生
严格来说 她是我学长
但 我认识她 是因为她是我的同事
她 一个很健谈的女生
喜欢和她谈天
可能是因为我们对很多的事情都有同感吧~
谢谢你的短训哦~
在新公司的我 会好好加油的~

另外还有jia hui
另一个忙里抽空 写部落格的女生
也是我team里 较认识的一个
有些时候 工作上的不顺心
也靠她的帮忙
至少她把耳朵借给我
听我述说

还有bon
一个疯疯癫癫 26岁的男生
要特别感谢哦
因为他 心不甘情不愿的
为我签table cleaning
哈哈~他就是为我收拾烂摊子的那一位 :P
谢谢咯~

还有我的 senior manager, sook har
她说话时总是很温柔
但听说 她骂人的时候 可吓人的呢~
要谢谢她
在我选择去与留的时候
为我分析了许多
也要说声抱歉
让你失望了~

当然少不了
audit department 的文书, vivian
我们的灵魂人物
呵呵~和她熟络
是在那一次RSM Retreat吧~
为什么我总是说她很重要呢？
因为 我们的大小事务
都得经过她处理
重要吧 :P

今天7时离开公司
没有所谓的不舍 没有所谓的眷恋
只有很平淡的心情
是时间太短 不足以让我对这里有感情吧
我想并非我无情 :P

结束之后 也是新生活的开始
不要问我是否会后悔
不要问我是否向往那样的生活
只能说
我只能答应你们
我会好好努力 加油~


~如~

紫藤茶坊之约~

2008年10月19日
The Garden 紫藤茶坊之约~
A Date at Purple Cane Restaurant

好想念的一群朋友
很久没见面了
我们的默契 却依然
我们的黑白系列~

Our link is still there
eventhough we didn't meet up for months
we are wearing black and white
without prior communication :P
i miss them so much~










地点是我选择的
我喜欢茶坊安静的气氛
不吵 足以让人聊天

I decided the location
we went to Purple Cane Restaurant
somewhere which I really like
I like the environment
it's quiet and peaceful
you can chat with your friends here...
strongly recommended





简易的设计~
The simple design~







茶
Tea



而且 我也喜欢她的菜肴
用茶烹饪 是他的特色
简易 清淡 的菜肴里
附着一丝丝的茶香

I am not sure with whether you will like the food or not
but i really like it
its famous with cooking using tea
i believed most of you had tried the herbal tea egg
but, have you ever tried vegetable featured with tea
yeah...i tried and fall in love with it
the taste is so nice, where the taste of the tea spread in the mouth
there is a wide variety in the menu
its all about the style of cooking,
and the use of tea
i miss it~
tadaa...let's have a look with what we order


自制茶钵豆腐@
homemade beancurd
龙井蒸蛋@
steamed egg





药材扣鸡@
herbal chicken
茶原炒米粉@
homemade friend meehoon






绿茶饭@
green tea rice
水仙茶@
shui xian tea




这次聚餐的目的
当然少不了手信咯~

be honest, the main purpose of this outing is
zeehui and sinli is back
and they are going to give us the souvenir~
(should i forgive sinli for not attending the outing?
or, I should make her regret :P)






for yongkit and wailim








for wendy








and, mine




她们确实是我的好姐妹
了解我的一群人
她们买了书签给我
很精致
而且是四叶草的哦~
不知道四叶草意味着什么
只知道 它是很稀有的
谢谢~我真得很喜欢

haha, they really know me well
they bought a bookmark for me
and its four leaf clover
don't ask me the story of it
but I know its meaningful
and it's hard to find it
thanks gal...
I really like it...

一贯往常
看电影~
Max Payne
对我吸引力不大的一出影片
有点恐怖 但还在接受范围之内
电影结束之后
因为个人约了另一群朋友
就先闪人了~
他们的再续 不解~

we went for movie too
Max Payne
Zeehui and me stare at Wailim at the beginning of the movie
it's kind of scary
er...i would rate this movie at a so so level
it's not attractive, for me
i guess zeehui will have the same thinking with me
it's not our type of movie
however
it's really a nice day to spent off with my dear friend~
even though i feel so sleepy in the office today


~如~

I LOVE YOU

I saw a pair of couple in train today
a pair of couple, which are not malaysian
I can't guess their nation...
but their interaction attracted me
oh...
I always claimed myself as an open-minded one
but out of sudden, i feel that i am a conservative one
I saw the pair of couple kissing when they are waiting for train
I not sure with whether this happen in malaysia always
but I saw it quite often lately
maybe because of I am taking public transport lately
arh...I am so surprise when I see it
they are right in front of me
and I dunno what to do, get shock
haha, I admit that I am stubborn
I can't imagine this happen in such islamic country
as from what I know, malaysian don't do this

by the way, it makes me to think again
how nice if every people can communicate in such way
express their feeling through action
but not words...
I always feel that, saying I LOVE YOU doesn't mean anything
is how you mean I LOVE YOU through the action
haha, people who really know me will know what am I thinking again
how nice if this was practice in malaysia
everyone express their feeling through their action
I know this would never realised, it's just a day-dream
but I did see this as a good way of communication :P
compared with communication through words
I hate listening to couple
which complaining each others and arguing non-stop
there is no point of being together when you do not satisfied with him
love your love one,
but not transform someone to your love one
by expecting he/she love you using your way
after the transformation,
he/she no longer the one that attracted you...
after the transformation.
he/she is only someone which meets your expectation,
without his personalization....

friends,
LOVE is under the sky
let's show our love with action
spread our love to people besides us
let them feel they are in love, always...


I LOVE YOU,
joo~

留下离去

4天3夜的Retreat Camp 终于画下句点了
这个句点之后
也许就是我亲手为我第一份全职画下句点
开始这句点以后的生活...

因为交了辞呈
参与这个营的我 总是战战兢兢的
害怕 被问及 被辅导 被挽留
害怕的事情始终发生了
面对一群management level 的我
听着他们的劝解 他们的分析
有点不知所措 不知该如何解释
面对他们对我的期许
有点觉得抱歉 内疚
内心不断地在挣扎 求助
该谢谢及时给与援助的terrance
虽然认识不久 却救了我一命 :P
他的出现 让话题中断 让我逃离
thanks~

这几天 不断有同事问我
动摇了吗？ 有想留下吗？
同事们 原谅我的不坦白
我动摇了

现在的公司
有很好的未来计划
我看见它成长的空间
也在这个transformation process中
我看见我能学的skills
我知道是个很好的学习机会
但 这个成长需要太长的时间
5年 我怀疑我自己的耐心
我知道sook har说得对
以我的能力 在这个公司
我能爬得很快
（很好笑，manager说他们看见我有很多skill，
我怎么不知道啊？）

新的公司
稳定度 知名度 员工福利 都比较好
我会有一步一步学习的机会
可以慢慢来 不许急切着成长
和现在公司比起来
学习过程可能较长 但能学得更彻底一点
可惜的是 我没有机会参与它的成长
而且 我的工作表现
不会被manager看见
和现在的不一样~
在那里 因该不会有机会 和principal同桌谈天吃饭

站在天平上
我无法平衡自己 无法去决定
我犹豫了~
没有再多的力气 去分析
留下还是离去
才是最适合自己的选择
不想再烦了
stick to my own plan
我决定走了~

我只想简单一点~
我想更平凡一些~


~如~

林明山 (sungai lembing)

开斋节的假日
和朋友去了林明山 (sungai lembing)
一个很有历史性的小地方
这个小镇 真得很简易
和城市 真得很不一样

i went to sungai lembing during my holiday
a small but historic place
for me, it's really different with KL
i like the place
but i will never stay there for life
if i given a chance to choose, i will prefer the life in KL

林明
世界第二大的锡米矿
sungai lembing
the world second largest mine


在前往林明的途中
有一段小塞车
原因...电灯柱倒了

one the way to sungai lembing
a bit of jam...
an accident happen
which no vehicles involved, but lamp post did
guess what ;p





对那位工程师...
有意见吗？
who should we blame for?



呵呵~
小小的讶异
不说的话 我也不可能会知道
这是间油站
是镇上唯一的油站
不可思议~
说实在的 我看见这个小镇的发展空间
它可以变成旅游胜地哦 :P
到时候 这个油站
因该无法生存了

what a surprise to me
when i see this in sungai lembing
it's doing a business, and i never expect to witness something like this in malaysia
haha, its selling petrol
it's a petrol station...
no doubt, it's the ONLY petrol station in the town
i am not kidding, okay?






唯一的油站
the only petrol station in the town



抵达的时候
我们到“姐妹面瘫”
品尝了道地的林明面和水豆腐
好吃+便宜

when we reached sungai lembing
we took our breakfast
the famous lembing noodles
its really cheap~
can you ever imagine it's only cost you 70sen per bowl of noodles？
it's 20th century...
i never know that we can still get a bowl of noodles at this price
well, should relates it back to the living cost




干捞林明面@lembing noodles
水豆腐@taufu







猪肉丸@pork meatball
炸云吞@fried wantan




当然
我们也不会错过参观锡米矿的机会咯
在小小的路旁
拍照留念
以作为我到此一游的证据

we went to visit the mine
part of the mine, i should say so...
its just besides the road
and we park our car by the roadside
for photo shooting~
yeah, memory





锡米矿的一小部分
part of the mine








矿洞1，2，3，4~
directional board to the mine


没能参观锡米矿
也就是所谓的lombong
因为真得很暗 也没有足够的手电筒
所以就此罢休

however, we didn't manage to visit the real mine
where those old time people dig and dig
we walk into the mine,
a really small part of it
it's dark inside the mine, wet and windy too
however, we have to stop and get out from the mine
because we lack of torchlight
2 torchlight for 10...obviously insufficient
so, we decided for photo shooting,
solo and group before we went off


接下来
参观华人新村
不想绕圈驾车
却必须过河的唯一方法
就是使用吊桥

after that, we went to the chinese village
we have to cross the bridge,
unless we drive the car using another road, which is far
quite impress with this bridge when i see motorcycle pass through it
can't imagine, it able to support motorcycle






别小看这座吊桥哦~
the bridge






从吊桥看去
挺美的一间房子
a house from the bridge viewpoint



紧迫的旅程
包含了到印度庙“走走”
说实在的
我没看见印度神 :P
知道的是
我付了RM2.00
爬上了查惹洞 (Gua Charas)
目的...看山洞咯

after that
we went to gua chavas
a hindu temple
however, i don't remember did i saw any hindu god :P
i think i should pray once i enter a temple
but, i hope the god will forgive me









查惹洞
Gua Charas












山洞~
the cave


之后呢
就到午餐时间咯
也就是 吃~
著名的ketchup mee
酸酸甜甜的
该是我喜欢的
个人却不觉得怎么样~

it's lunch hour
and we went for the famous ketchup mee
i don't remember the shop name
but i do remember the taste of the ketchup mee
its sweet and sour
er...compatible with singapore food
i think they can sell it in singapore too~
it's a business opportunity,
and they might expand their business over there
hahahha....






蕃茄面
ketchup mee



吃饱了之后
经过一番讨论
在海边及瀑布之间
选择了后者

its 4pm after lunch and we do not have much time
so, we got to choose among waterfall and seasides
as a conclusion,
we decided to go for waterfall...
a place where my colleague asked me not to go
as per him, it's "dirty"










到了之后
晴天霹雳的 瀑布是关闭的
呵呵~
我们的决定方案...偷渡
于是 我们走了2km++
才抵达瀑布

what a surprise to us
the waterfall is closed when we reach
as we see many car parking at the entrance
we guess it's in walking distance and we decided to walk in
wow...it's 2km+ from the entrance
damn far
can't imagine i am doing such thing~





在大自然之中的不自然~
不解滑梯为何会出现~
something which are not supposed to appear in waterfall...


尽兴之后
夜已深
就启程到kuantan
寻找我们的住宿+吃晚餐
也就结束了我们的第一夜

the sun is going to set, and the moon is rising
we went back to kuantan
for our dinner and take a good rest
and prepare for the next day~


第二天凌晨
在天亮之前
我们准备出发
到山上看日出和云海
也就是此行的首要目的

we wake up at 3am in the second day
so that we could reach sungai lembing at 4pm
and reach the top of the mountain before the sunrise
it's our purpose for this trip
for the sunrise and cloud
we thought that we will be the few person who doing such crazy things
awake in 3am for the sunrise
yeah...its proof that we are not
because the mountain is crowded
yeah...we are not crazy, k?




























第一道曙光@the first sunlight of the day~
日出@the sunrise~
云海@the cloud










在结束旅程之前
我们到kuantan的海边玩

before we ended our trip to sungai lembing
we went to the beach at kuantan
the beach got it's name,
but i can't remember the name of the beach
it's a beautiful beach
eventhough it crowded with people
i like the natural feel
the warmth of the sun, the windy wind, and the blue sky






一望无际的海边
the seaside


一望无际的海边
真得很舒服
而且 我这个都市人
终于学会放风筝了
要谢谢我们的“陈老师”哦~

it's really fun to play at the beach
although i didn't step into the sea
i just stand on the sand :P
arhem, i learned how to fly a kite
thanks to vs~
he is the one who teach us
as per what he said,
it's really easy to fly a kite there
because it is a windy day
not much technique needed :P
so, in the another way,
i might not able to fly a kite in others place,
which are not windy
bad huh...


在海边
看见了两位巫族的男子
现做现卖钥匙圈
于是 我也买了一个作为纪念
因为颜色的关系
我的名字并不明显
所以 我在钥匙圈上稍微加工~
发挥一下我的艺术细胞~

i saw two man selling key chain by the beach
i admire with their skill, and also the speed
so, i decided to buy one
but because of the colour matching
the words no longer obvious
so, i decided to add something on it
yeah, my artistic time again~






之前 和 之后
before and after




结束了两天一夜的旅程
回到属于我的地方~
回到城市~
再见了彭亨~

it's the end of the trip
goodbye to sungai lembing, pahang
and time to get back to the town
continue with my life







我们一行人
10 of us in sungai lembing




回到城市
back to town
~如~

都市气温

搭车的生活
让我看见了 种种 繁忙的都市人
向来不喜欢拥挤的我
始终学不会去"挤"
总是有好心人纳出空间
让我进入轻快铁内
今天 友善的他帮我挤进了monorail
看见到站了的我 挤在人群中走不出去
还帮了我一个小忙
而我却在匆忙之中 忘了向那年轻男孩道谢
谢谢~
虽然你看不见
谢谢你的帮助~
虽然我拒绝聆听你的产品推荐:P
还是要对你说声谢谢

还记得学生时代
我们常被灌输的“礼让精神”吗？
从来不知道
在这个时代 还有人懂得礼让
看见了有年轻人让位给年长者时
总是觉得有点讶异~有点惊喜~
讶异的是 道德教育成功了吗？
还是纯粹家庭教育的力量？
惊喜的是 现在的小孩 有救了...

"助人为快乐之本"
你必定听听过了吧~
可是 懂得伸出援手的人 又有多少呢？
我知道的 我看见的 很少
最近总是看见 一位肌体残障的人
他的身边 总是跟着不同的人
原来这些人 也只是路人甲乙丙丁
是值得开心的吧~
社会气温 开始暖化了

短短的一个月
不足以让我为世界冷暖下定论~
但 我感觉到了
人类无情，自私的一面
他的背后
还有关怀~还有爱

这个繁忙的都市气温
还需要几久 才会变暖呢？


~如~

specially for you

To my dear PS:

Gal, I know that you having a bad days over there, and it will last for few more weeks from now. I know its hard to stay alone in a country, which you are not familiar with and there is no friend around you. I understand your situations, and I know its really tough to overcome this period. But do always remember that we will by your side always, to give you support.

Do you remember the movie that we watch when attend the ACCA leadership camp? Pay check...I hope that you still remember the morale behind the story. Plan your future. Eddie said that we got to see our future, and work hard for our targeted future. So, do remind yourself that you are chasing your dreams. Studying law is what you want to do always, and you are a lucky one which you got a chance to go for it. So, grab your chances tight in your hand.

One and a half year isn't that long as you think. Try to recall, we had knew each others for almost four years. Its so long, right? And you had depart to UK for 3 months, we had not met each others, to crap, gossips, shopping, makan-makan for 3 months. Its 1/4 years, but the days we were together is still fresh in my mind. So, don't worry. Since I can still alive here without you guys, you can make it too.

Arhem, about your new house mate. I know its difficult to stay under one roof with strangers, but each friendship started with the stranger process. Don't try to imagine who you going to stay with, for the next 1.5 years. Just try to accept the behavior of your new house mate, and make friends with them. Most probably you will get a nice and friendly house mate, who knows what will happen in the next second?

Remember how confidence you are when you speak in front of people? Remember that you have a superb PR skill? Use your superb PR skill to make friends there, in your new courses and college. And be confidence on yourself, believe on yourself that you can cope with the new life.

When you feel lonely, and homesick, just go online and you can get all of us in your msn, and phuikei too. If I didn't online, feel free to sms me and I will appear :P. I will always be available for you when you need someone to talk to.

Take care always, k? Miss you here a lots.


With loads of love and kisses,
Joo


p/s: its my first ever post in english, just for you.

当不习惯变成习惯

最近的我 开始了搭车生活
必须承认public transport的方便
也必须承认 我的不习惯
不习惯 等待的感觉
不习惯 拥挤的感觉
不习惯 面对陌生人
不习惯 失去我的习惯~

智者说：
一切的习惯 是由不习惯演变而成的
一切的习惯 也会有变成不习惯的一天

在习惯与不习惯之间
见证了岁月的流逝
见证了我们正在成长 正在改变

等待
我的不习惯 变成我的习惯
希望
当习惯变成不习惯
当不习惯变成习惯
我...依旧是我


~如~

狗狗

淘气的小狗狗
今天独自外出
结果被捕狗队捉了
好恐怖哦~
恐怖 只是个人观点
我家的狗 看起来没被吓倒 :P

该感谢这社会现实的一面
让我的小狗狗得以回家~
想起了常听见的一句
能用钱解决的问题 就不是问题
终于了解 这句话的意义了


~如~

另一阶段

开工数天了
朋友总是问我
还好吗？习惯吗？
该如何回答呢？
一个人．．．到陌生的环境
一个人．．．做着新的工作
一个人．．．踏入另一阶段
如何称得上好呢？　
又要如何习惯呢？
我真得不懂～
只希望
这份工作　能给我我所期许的


～如～

选择

依旧 讨厌做选择
甲乙丙丁 都有利与弊
该如何寻找其中的平衡点？
该如何取舍？
如何知道
选择了之后
就不会后悔？


~如~

沉淀期

咖啡，越纯越香。

茶，越泡越浓。

酒，越沉越淳。

咖啡 茶 酒
沉淀之后 更美味
更让人沉迷

一个人
经过了沉淀期
又会变得怎样？


~如~

one more try

one more try one more try
don't give up and you'll reach the sky
don't give up and you'll wear a smile
high above the sky is fine
one more try and you'll reach the sky

教补习时看见的一段文字
来得恰时的文字
再尝试一次 不放弃
就能得到所要的
说 可以很简单
做 可以很难

踏出那一步
再一次尝试
所需要的勇气
很大


~如~

我哭了

始终按捺不住
心中的压力
感觉空气变得稀薄
有种喘不过气的感觉
开始觉得不能呼吸

终于
无法再压抑自己
无法再佯装坚强
无法再告诉自己 不哭~

终于
泪水决堤
我哭了~


~如~

梦想

无意间看见的一段文字

梦想
是一个名词
要把它变成动词
就得靠自己的努力和决心

我的梦 已不再

剩下的梦 不属于我
是否该鼓起勇气去追随我的梦
还是让我的梦 销声匿迹？
不属于我的梦 又该被延续吗？
追梦人的主角
会是我吗？


我的梦？ ~如~

购物狂

好久没逛街了~
为了准备未来的生活
购买上班的衣服和鞋子
连续逛了6个小时
结果 => 累+脚痛
呵呵...再一次发现我不像女孩 :P
实在无法体会购物的乐趣
只知道购物狂不好当


我不是购物狂 ~如~

p/s: 终于买到鞋子了，3号鞋 :P

休息

无所事事呆在家
也好一段日子了
朋友不断告诉我
这一段日子
就当做放自己一个假
让自己休息一下
调整一下身心
去面对未来的改变~
突然好想问自己
我有在休息吗？
无聊地翻了一下词典
查看休息的定义
休息=暂时停止工作/上课/活动

我暂停了手头上的事情
身体的疲惫没了
但心的疲惫 却依然
还是阻止不了 还是会想
未来的路 究竟会是如何？
是否能找到一份如意的工作？
是否能适应社会大学的生活？
是否能... ...
此刻的担心...让心疲惫


~如~

缘

“朋友这一个字
是你和我都意想不到的
从哪开始？ 到哪结束？
不晓得...
我知道的
就是与你之间的缘分
缘分虽小 却值得我珍惜永远”


朋友传来的一则短讯
很合时的一封简讯
一直在想
四年学院生活的结束
也意味着和朋友分道扬镳的时刻
我们大家心里都明白
踏入社会之后
我们会有不一样的人生
我们都会有自己的生活
我们也不能像以往一样时常聚在一起了...
朋友
未来的我们
还会如今日般亲密吗？
我们之间的缘分 会就此熄灭吗？


缘来缘去 ~如~